Since my first list on this subject was so much fun to write, I thought I'd whip up a second one. Without further ado, let's get to it!
The Amazing Spider-Man (2012-2014)
If I were Tom Holland, I would be very, very nervous, because the Spider-Man franchise's motto is, "When in doubt, reboot and cast somebody younger." Jacob Tremblay is coming for your spider-suit, Tom. Watch out.
However, Holland doesn't have much reason to be nervous, as Spider-Man: Homecoming was critically acclaimed, grossed $800 million, and he's part of the freaking Avengers now, he's basically untouchable. When was the last time one of the Avengers got recast? Like, Rhodey in 2010 or whenever?
The Amazing Spider-Man never had such luck on its side. In 2012, the first movie grossed almost $760 million - a hugely respectable number that even Holland's Spidey wouldn't sneeze at. Not bad for a reboot that never should have happened in the first place. (Where is Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man 4? Where, Hollywood???) However, fans never embraced this franchise, nor did critics, despite the fact that the guy who directed these movies is called Marc Webb, so it should have been a match made in heaven, right? But the sequel didn't perform to expectations, grossing only $700 million - again, not a bad number, but definitely not what Sony was hoping for. Reception was also lukewarm at best.
At this point, no one would've faulted Sony for making The Amazing Spider-Man 3, but they decided not to take a chance that audiences would further reject the franchise. Oh, and if you believe the talk, the choice to can this franchise wasn't 100% financial; it was because Andrew Garfield was actively campaigning for a bisexual Spider-Man and Sony was like, "How about no." Seriously. After Sony fired Garfield so hard that he would be relegated to small theatre productions for the rest of his natural lifespan, the Sony hack revealed that Spider-Man was, in fact, contractually obligated to be white and straight.
And although we won't be seeing any more of The Amazing Spider-Man, I find it hilarious how Marvel somehow managed to cast a Spider-Man who was even gayer than Andrew Garfield.
Ghost Rider (2007-2011)
As befitting a movie starring Nicolas Cage, this franchise gave him ample opportunity to absolutely lose his fucking shit. However, Ghost Rider went one step further and allowed Cage to put his innate ability to turn into a flaming skull to good use. (They didn't use any CGI in these movies. Scout's honor. It's all him.)
Truth be told, the first Ghost Rider was a pretty good time, and if a movie starring Nicolas Cage as the devil's right-hand man with a skull for a head and who rides a flaming motorcycle around the world killing bad guys didn't manage to be a good time, there would be a huge problem. The second one, I don't know if it was a good time or not, because frankly I've got better things to do.
Audiences and critics sure didn't seem to think so. 2011's sequel, Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, had a way smaller budget than the first movie, but also grossed way less ($132 million vs. $228 million). Also, it had 17% on RT vs. a 26% score for the first one. One memorable audience member at Butt-Numb-A-Thon said that Spirit of Vengeance made Ghost Rider look like The Dark Knight. Ouch.
Frankly, I don't even know why they made a sequel to Ghost Rider in the first place when it should have been a one-off. But they didn't repeat their mistake. In 2012, the directors said that Cage was "pumped" about making Ghost Rider 3, but in 2013, Cage himself said, "I doubt, highly, that I would be in a third installment of that." So what is the truth? In any case, Marvel has the rights to Ghost Rider now after Columbia failed to make another movie in time to keep the rights, and the most they've done with the character so far is plunked him into their aging TV flop Agents of SHIELD. So I doubt we'll be seeing another Ghost Rider movie anytime soon.
Journey (2008-2012)
For some weird reason, Warner Bros. briefly decided they would make a modern film series out of Jules Verne's novels. Because that worked out so well with Around the World in 80 Days in 2004. (Which is one of the greatest movies ever made, so don't @ me.)
In 2012, I remember thinking that Journey 2: The Mysterious Island was just a funny/hip way of saying Journey to the Mysterious Island, because I had no idea that it was actually a sequel to 2008's Brendan Fraser-starring Journey to the Centre of the Earth. The Rock, who - if you'll remember from my last article - is the king of taking people's jobs, took Fraser's job in the sequel, replacing him as the stepfather to Josh Hutcherson's character. Because if there's one thing we know, it's that movies where the Rock plays a beleaguered father are the best movies.
These two adventure films don't have much in common, other than being vaguely based on Jules Verne works and starring Josh Hutcherson. (Whatever happened to him, anyway?) Shockingly, despite being based on a work that no one knows and the completely-unclear sequel to a movie that didn't do that well anyway, Journey 2: The Mysterious Island did really well at the box office and beat its predecessor.
Despite this, they never made Journey 3: Europe's Most Wanted, ostensibly because audiences weren't interested. And if audiences weren't interested back then, they damn well won't be any more interested in 2018, so unfortunately, Journey fans, I think you can kiss your franchise goodbye. The Rock has better things to do now, anyway. Like, for example, stealing Nicolas Cage's job. (Please cast the Rock as the new Ghost Rider. Please. I never knew I needed this. I'm begging you, Marvel.)
John Carter (2012)
Look, despite the fact that they never made more than one of these movies, you can 100% tell that Disney was absolutely freaking salivating over the prospect of a John Carter franchise. They planned to make a blockbuster trilogy out of the classic Barsoom sci-fi novels, and threw hundreds of millions into marketing this thing. But sadly, hubris went before their fall.
Instead of becoming a huge billion-dollar franchise, this $350 million money pit sank straight into the ground and took all of Disney's dollars with it, resulting in a $200 million loss and becoming one of the biggest box office disasters of all time. Critics didn't like it either, saying it was nothing special... but damn, with that kind of loss, it could've been the next Gravity quality-wise and a sequel would still never have happened.
By the way, if John Carter hadn't failed, we wouldn't have gotten Finding Dory. I'm serious. Look it up. It's true.
Titans (2010-2012)
Remember in 2010 when we were all going around saying "Release the kraken"? Ah, 2010. "Release the kraken" will go down in history, along with silly bandz and Adam Lambert, as things that 2010 took with it when it went.
2010's extremely-loose Greek mythology adaptation Clash of the Titans made nearly $500 million, and was one of Hollywood's few and far-between efforts to make Sam Worthington a thing, despite the fact that he starred in the highest-grossing movie ever made. (Seriously. Where in the HELL did Sam Worthington go after Avatar??????) The movie was badly-received critically, as one might expect, but still got a sequel, Wrath of the Titans, in 2012.
By 2012, no one was saying "Release the kraken" anymore, as reflected in Wrath of the Titans' box office score. It made only $300 million, markedly less than the first one, and was even more poorly-received by critics. Although Wrath wasn't exactly a flop, and they could've made more if they had wanted to, the critical reception and the lack of audience interest meant the potential third movie, Revenge of the Titans, was permanently put on hold.
Diary of a Wimpy Kid (2010-2017)
There's just one problem. It's called Diary of a Wimpy Kid, not Diary of a Wimpy Teenager or Diary of a Wimpy Guy with a Picket Fence, 2.5 Kids and a Dog. What I'm trying to say is, this book series isn't like Harry Potter where the characters grow up as the series progresses. Instead, the characters remain the same age throughout. Therefore, the child actors quickly got too old for their parts and had to be replaced.
And what a debacle that was. Fans went absolutely bonkers (yes, apparently Diary of a Wimpy Kid has a huge fandom on the internet who won't shut up), and #NotMyRodrick became a huge thing, protesting the casting of Charlie Wright as the character Rodrick in particular. Why? I have no idea, man. I really don't.
Surprisingly enough, critics praised Wright's performance in the reboot. But not much else. Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul failed to match its predecessors, grossing only $40 million, and critics panned it. It takes a lot to make the original Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie look like Citizen Kane, but they managed it. Now, this franchise's last movie was released only last year, so I'm slightly iffy about including it on this list - there might still be sequels, and if there are, I'll be eating crow. But somehow, I really feel like there won't be. This is another Amazing Spider-Man situation where the reboot fizzled, and they really should have just done another one with the original cast.
The Chronicles of Narnia (2005-2010)
This one depends on your definition of "fizzled." Narnia is, by all rights, a success. It's a billion-dollar franchise, they're still planning to make more of them, and all is right with the world. Or is it?
Understand that when I say "fizzled," I mean, "They should have already made ten of these things, and the fact that they've only made three is very telling." I'm certain that Disney and Walden Media thought this was going to be the next Harry Potter, and when it just wasn't, they were disappointed. Audiences didn't really embrace Narnia. The first movie was okay, and it was a fad for a while, but the next two movies made far less money, and were less well-liked by critics and viewers. The fad had passed.
If Narnia had been a success, make no mistake, we would be anticipating the release of Narnia 6 any day now. But nope. In eight years, there hasn't been a new one; they've wavered around planning a fourth movie for eons now, details are tenuous, and no one knows if it'll ever see the light of day. If it does, it certainly won't feature the same child actors, who are all in their 20s and 30s now. It'll be another Diary of a Wimpy Kid situation where everyone gets recast. Only time will reveal if that's a good thing for this franchise or not.
X-Men Origins (2009)
The first of these proposed movies was the abysmal X-Men Origins: Wolverine in 2009. It did lukewarm numbers at the box office, tanked with critics, and, as you well know, did not spark an X-Men Origins franchise. It did spark Ryan Reynolds' Deadpool and a series of films about Wolverine. The whole X-Men Origins idea, though? Left in the dust. Never to be heard from again. Instead, we got X-Men: First Class, otherwise known as X-Men Origins: Literally Everyone.
Let's be honest though: we didn't need X-Men Origins: Magneto. Every freaking X-Men movie is already X-Men Origins: Magneto.
The Mummy (1999-2008)
The idea of rebooting The Mummy is not new. They've done it, like, 50 times since 1932. And in 2008, when the second sequel to 1999's The Mummy tanked, they were unafraid to again say, "Let's start over."
All three movies made over $400 million. The first one was a fun, funny movie which I feel absolutely no guilt about loving. The second one was also fun, and spiced things up by throwing an insane reincarnation plotline into the mix. The third movie, however? Not so good.
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor gave us a new director. It gave us a new female lead, and actually made meta jokes about the recasting, which might have been funny if Maria Bello was in any way superior to Rachel Weisz, which, no offense, but no. It took place in a new country (instead of Egypt, these mummies are.... Chinese???). It threw awful CGI yetis into the whole shebang (seriously). In short, it took about 50 sharp turns that made you say "...huh?" And not in a good way.
The third movie felt tired, sad, and cold. It could offer us none of the fun and bright humor of the first two movies. I distinctly remember feeling pissed off and disappointed in 2008 after watching this movie in the theatre. And it takes a LOT to make me remember shit from 10 years ago.
Since Tomb of the Dragon Emperor actually made a lot of money, I don't know why they canceled the planned sequel, other than the fact that it got a freaking 12% on Rotten Tomatoes and was disliked by even the most hardcore of fans. I know because I'm one of them. I just feel like this franchise was a huge missed opportunity. We should have been getting awesome, fun Mummy movies every few years, a la Mission Impossible. I guess this franchise isn't totally dead, since the spinoff Scorpion King series cranks out a new direct-to-video cheesefest every two years. But still.
Fantastic Four (1994-2015)
You may not have known that in 1994, a low-budget indie superhero movie called The Fantastic Four was made. I said "was made," not "came out," because it never actually did get released. Its notoriously poor quality, bad reception, and lack of success set the tone for an attempted franchise that would take 21 years to not launch.
In 2005 and '07, they tried to kick-start this franchise yet again. And so, we the viewing public received two cheesy, lighthearted movies which fanboys spent nigh on 10 years decrying as the most awful things that could ever possibly happen to Marvel. But they. Were. Wrong.
Because 2007's Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer performed below expectations, 21st Century Fox decided to try yet again, entrusting the direction of a reboot to Josh Trank. And if you believe him, this entire debacle is not his fault, it's Fox's - he had an amazing version of this movie that was beautiful and mind-bending and would've changed all our lives until Fox came in and pulled out the rug and did reshoots and recuts and blahdi-blahdi-blah. No matter whose fault it was - and believe me, a lot of finger-pointing went around - the end result was a simply horrendous, woeful movie called Fant4stic that made us all wish for the days of Jessica Alba and Ioan Gruffudd.
Since Fant4stic failed on every conceivable level, including but not limited to its title, there is never going to be a sequel. Especially since Disney bought the rights to Fantastic Four in 2017. You know what? I'd rather see them bring back the 2005 cast than reboot the thing entirely. 2005's Fantastic Four and its sequel were fun, entertaining popcorn fare that fans unfairly rejected. Can we finally recognize that? Please?
You've reached the end of this list, my friend. Someday I might make a part 3. Maybe. But maybe not. We shall see...
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