SHADY'S DREADFUL MOVIE REVIEWS anouncement!

For the last few years, I've reviewed a bunch of shitty movies - especially in recent months. Now, it's practically this blog's bread and butter. Most of them are animated kids' movies and/or nostalgic movies, though I do hesitate to use the N-word because I don't particularly want to be associated with you-know-who.

In case you're new here, here's the current roster of reviews:

-Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (reviewed in 2018)
-Spy Kids 3-D: Game Over (reviewed in 2018)
-The Secret of the Hunchback (reviewed in 2018)
-The Secret of Anastasia (reviewed in 2018)
-Jupiter Ascending (reviewed in 2017, and this isn't technically a review, more me babbling on about stupid bullshit. I'll probably redo this one. There's a lot to talk about.)
-The Adventures of Sharkboy & Lavagirl in 3-D (reviewed in 2016)
-Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (reviewed in 2014, and be warned, I redid this review for a reason - it's terrible. I apologize on behalf of past me.)

Other than writing movie lists, probably my favorite thing to do on this blog is to review awful movies. I just love it. It's my shit. But why, then, do I not have a separate label for my bad movie reviews? I asked myself this question today, and had no answer.

So today, I'm here to announce Shady's Dreadful Movie Reviews! Not much is going to change, except that my bad movie reviews will now have this for their title, and they'll be labeled "Dreadful Movies" too, for your ease of perusal, dear reader. This has already been done for the previous bad movie reviews, if you want to take a peek.

The reason for this? Well, I am terrible at organizing. I've been wanting to spring clean this blog for literal years. This extra label is just a small step in the right direction, in my opinion. By keeping the bad movie reviews separate, I can install order in this one small area of my life where I have complete control, while the rest continues to spiral and crash around me in a never-ending explosion. Oh, and I just think it looks better.

For another quick update: I've been working on a bunch of bad movie reviews for months, because as I mentioned, I am a disorganized human being, and the good fairy of writing inspiration only sees fit to bestow her pixie dust upon me, like, once a month. But anyway, here's a list of the reviews I have in the works:

-Scooby-Doo (2002)
-Bee Movie (2007) - yes, seriously
-Anastasia (the Enchanted Tales version, 1997)
-The King & I (1999)
-Titanic: The Legend Goes On (2000)
-The Secret of Mulan (1998)

So prepare yourself, because these reviews are coming your way. Every single one of these movies is horrendous in its own special way.

Until my next article, peace out.

SHADY MOVIE THROWBACKS: Zoom: Academy for Superheroes (again)

"Boy, for a straight guy you're dramatic!" 

- Tim Allen as Zoom

This was my first Bad Movie.

Oh, I'm sure I'd seen worse at that age. But as an eight-ish-year-old kid, this was the first movie where I distinctly remember sitting in the theater and thinking in my head, "This is not good. This is not a quality movie. I don't like this. This is awful. I want to go home."

And yet, I don't know why - maybe because I was a masochist - I would watch it again as a kid, and again, repulsed and fascinated. I grew to hate this movie, really hate it, deep in the marrow of my bones. So much that in 2014, I wrote a brief, but decidedly revolted and hateful, review of it. The review is... not great. It points out a lot of things I thought were wrong with this movie, but it doesn't go as in-depth as it should, it's not funny, and - of course; it was published in 2014 - it's terribly written. So I thought I'd redo it.

Any problems with this? Well... I haven't watched Zoom in four years. And, terrifyingly, I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm going to end up ironically loving it when I do rewatch it. Sure, I hated it in 2014, but today? A schlubby Tim Allen barely giving a shit or earning his paycheck, blandly and annoyedly reacting to all kinds of weird superhero shit happening around him? Courteney Cox as an eccentric scientist who can spit rainbows? Superpowered children teaming up to torture Chevy Chase? Awful special effects? Genuinely the weirdest plot of any superhero movie I've ever seen? Cringeworthy humor? A "training montage" where everyone just stands around trying to dodge paintballs? A 3% rating on Rotten Tomatoes?

Oh, no. I think I'm going to watch this again and love it.

Well. Here we go into the fray.