This post has little to do with movies, and not much to do with pop culture, either. Only a very small subset of people are gonna relate to all the obscure Canadian shows on this list. But that's okay, because I hope that even if you're not familiar with what I will discuss, my brilliant writing and sparkling wit will keep you reading anyhow.
Timothy Goes to School (2000-2001)
Just listening to this theme song is like being enveloped in a warm hug of nostalgia. This show used to be baby Shady's main shit.
Timothy Goes to School is about a friendly young boy named Timothy, and honestly, until I googled it just now, I had no idea what kind of animal Timothy was supposed to be. Apparently he's a raccoon. Huh. They could have made that a little clearer by, y'know, making him look anything like a goddamn raccoon. Anyway, Timothy is a raccoon that goes to school, alongside such colorful characters as Yoko the Japanese cat, Nora the mouse who looks suspiciously identical to Ruby from Max and Ruby (childhood me was very suspicious of this), and Doris the beaver, the saltiest bitch on television.
If seeing this face doesn't evoke strong
hatred in you, your early-2000s kid card
will be immediately revoked.
Watching Timothy Goes to School is one of my earliest recollections. Actually, 95% of my oldest memories involve watching stuff, such as being forced to leave the theater during Ice Age because I wouldn't stop screaming for someone to just rescue that fucking squirrel, why doesn't anyone just help that fucking squirrel, please God, someone help that squirrel. (That was my first movie. Ahh... memories.) The animation is nice and it's just generally a sweet and gentle show.
I remember thinking the fox teacher Mrs. Jenkins was the most condescending bitch ever, though. Don't know why. Maybe I need to rewatch this show again. (I'm an adult. No I don't.)
George Shrinks (2000-2004)
Fun fact: the dad from George Shrinks actually died in a car crash like 45 minutes away from where I live. But that's neither here nor there.
The first thing that tells you that George Shrinks is going to be an awesome ride? That motherfucking theme song. That jazzy, adventurous number let all 8-year-olds around Canada know that they were in for some FUN. And they were.
This series, which was basically Stuart Little if Stuart was a human child for some reason, was just generally a good goddamn time. Every episode had George getting into some kind of crazy trouble and relying on his wits, tiny size, and... miniature flying car (???)... to get out of it. For example: George thinks there's a ghost in his house. George fights a monkey. George battles against insects (this plot recurred, like, six times). The animation was nothing special and honestly, neither were the stories, but the series made up for its shortcomings with charm, wit and fun. If you were an 8-year-old in 2006 or so, this was where it was at.
Another fun fact: George Shrinks originated from the brilliant mind of the same guy behind Robots, Meet the Robinsons, Rise of the Guardians, AND Rolie Polie Olie. Holy shit.
Storm Hawks (2007-2009)
Meet probably the highest-quality show to appear on this list. Storm Hawks was young Shady's first foray into a show that actually had plots and story arcs and all that good shit. And it was also Shady's first brush with a show that ends on an insane cliffhanger and then gets canceled. Call me crazy, but I'm still waiting for someone to announce that Storm Hawks is getting resurrected and will finally get the ending it deserves. Preferably, after six more seasons.
Storm Hawks actually has, for YTV at least, an outrageously good sci-fi high concept. In a world where everyone lives on islands in the sky, flying is the main method of travel and Sky Knights are basically the police. The Storm Hawks, a maverick group of young Sky Knights, used to protect everyone until they were defeated by the evil Cyclonians. Years later, a new generation of kids also calling themselves the Storm Hawks arise and try to take up their parents' mantle (at least, I assume it was their parents... the show never makes this clear), only to find out that no one takes them seriously. Because they're, like, 14. I wouldn't take them seriously either. But whatever.
Storm Hawks had no right to be so good, and it still holds up today. Balancing dark story arcs with fun adventure-of-the-week episodes, featuring great characters with their own personalities, and boasting unique and colorful animation, this was a true original. And please remember that this thing was a low-budget Canadian effort that aired on fucking YTV. I repeat: it had NO RIGHT to be this good. I'm still shocked about it to this day. When are we getting the live-action reboot?
Plus, Storm Hawks gave us Canadian Squidward. You can't go wrong.
I identify strongly with this guy.
Grossology (2006-2009)
Oh, Grossology. What can I even say about you? Of COURSE I liked this show when I was an 8-year-old kid. It was all about grossness. Every kid likes grossness. But now, as an older person, I watch this and go, "Yuck." What is it about growing up that makes us unable to appreciate nasty, gunky, gooey things anymore?
This show was about a brother-sister duo who are agents of the FBI for gross stuff, and based on what I've seen in locker rooms and public toilets, I think we actually need an FBI for gross stuff to happen in the real world. Grossology had good characters, a fun spy theme, cool gadgets, and was generally a kid's dream. But man, it was disgusting. Rewatching it today, I find that I severely misremembered the level of nastiness that was going on in this series. It is GROSS. It was fucking no-holds-barred. I honestly wonder if this would even be allowed to air today. The 2000s were a special time, man.
Grossology had the same generic flash animation that pretty much every show of that era boasted, but it still didn't look half bad. The adventures were fun and it was generally pretty entertaining - it even had story arcs! - and even today, rewatching these episodes, I don't mind it. If the show was about these characters investigating regular crimes, I would be down with it. But dude... It is SO nasty. I respect 8-year-old me for loving this show and not wanting to drink bleach whilst watching it. 8-year-old me had a stomach of titanium. Adult me? More like a stomach of Christmas wrapping paper.
Viva Piñata (2006-2009)
Gonna be honest, I don't really remember a whole lor about this show, other than the fact that I definitely watched it a TON as a kid. Google is telling me that this series is based on a video game of the same name. My memory is telling me that the plot of Viva Piñata was basically "Those green aliens from Toy Story, but with piñatas." And rewatching this series on YouTube is telling me that it was ugly and weird as fuck. The animation is just awful, like the TV version of an acid trip (and not in a good way). And oh, LORD, the violence.
The characters' arms and legs and other body parts are constantly getting ripped off/exploded/beaten in the most horrific of ways, which I guess is supposed to be funny and harmless because they're piñatas? It's freaking me out. Viva Piñata is giving me bad vibes. Let's just move on so I don't have to dwell on this anymore. It's bad for my mental health. And, probably, yours too.
Jane and the Dragon (2005-2006)
Reruns of this still air on the Treehouse Channel, and the fact that I am willing to DVR a show that airs on the Treehouse Channel shows you how good Jane and the Dragon was.
The show has a great concept: Jane, a young heroine in medieval times, rejects the path of a lady-in-waiting to become a knight's apprentice instead. Oh, and her BFF is a gigantic-ass, sardonic dragon. You'd think this concept would result in an action-packed show with tons of battles and shit, but it's really not. For those who were hoping Jane orders her dragon to dracarys the shit out of her enemies on a regular basis, I'm sorry to tell you that Jane and the Dragon is actually a relatively gentle, light series where the intensest the violence gets is when the young apprentices spar with wooden swords in the courtyard or whatever.
The animation is really, really interesting and unique, and it's a big part of the show's appeal. It teeters on the very edge of "uncanny valley" without fully going overboard. Jane is a very visually interesting heroine, whose impressive curly red hair reminds me a lot of Merida from Brave. They're actually pretty goddamn alike in more ways than one, but I'm not going to get into my huge "Brave ripped off Jane and the Dragon" theory at this moment. If you want to read my 41-page essay on this topic, click here.
Jane and the Dragon is better than just its animation, though. The stories are gentle yet compelling, the characters are dynamic, it's easy to root for the heroine, and this is just top-quality children's entertainment. I'd place it alongside Storm Hawks for the honor of being the best shows on this list. But there are more awesome shows to come...
Ruby Gloom (2006-2008)
Ruby Gloom is still my shit to this very day. In fact, among all these shows, it's the one that's the MOST still my shit. If that makes sense.
The actual premise for this show sounds an awful lot like a soulless cash grab: Ruby Gloom and friends, who were originally just goth mascots for apparel and pencil cases and calendars and stuff, get their own TV series where they live in a giant gothic house and get into mischief. Shockingly enough, though, it works. And it's good.
Ruby Gloom is genuinely really funny and witty, gently creepy (you know, kids-level creepy, not Addams Family creepy), and despite being animated with the same generic flash animation I mentioned earlier, it actually has a compelling visual style all its own. This show is unique among all the others, and I would highly recommend it if you're into nostalgic stuff, or animation, or goth stuff, or good TV in general.
Erky Perky (2006-2009)
This is very possibly the worst show on this list. I guess it's true what they say, that kids have different standards than adults, loath as I am to admit it. Because I watched this religiously as a kid. And it's awful. Just wretched.
Erky Perky is about two bugs who formerly lived on a hot dog stand, but got swept away in... a hot dog wrapper, I guess... to a kitchen where there's constant competition for food, and where there's such a pervasive bug infestation that the owners should really think about calling Dwayne LaFontant. (Is that reference too obscure?) And despite the fact that the very theme song speaks of the two bugs' desperation to get back home to their beloved hot dog stand, every single episode would feature Erky and Perky just sitting around... flirting with girl bugs... standing by open windows doing absolutely nothing to escape... Do you desperately want your freedom or DON'T you, you moron insects?
The animation is hideous. God-awful. Irredeemable. The character design is woebegone. The voice acting is soulless. The writing is hackneyed. It's awful. I have no idea what sort of bugs Erky and Perky are supposed to be, but I do know that if I saw these bastards flying around in my kitchen, the fly swatter would be whipping out faster than you can say "Propodeum." NO.
Kid vs. Kat (2008-2011)
Oh, the joys of watching Kid vs. Kat on a lazy Saturday morning. This show was the shit.
The premise is simple and pleasing: a kid hates his little sister's pet cat because the cat is secretly an evil alien and no one knows it but the kid, who, Cassandra-like, tries to show and tell everyone about the cat's evil behavior, only nobody ever believes him. Antics ensue. It's basically Invader Zim, but with a cat.
Kid vs. Kat is perfectly fine. The animation isn't, like, particularly pleasing to the eye or anything, but it's not hideous either. The slapstick was genuinely funny and the show made great use of its concept, with the cat using all kinds of crazy alien technology to terrorize the poor kid. It's very Looney Tunes-ish in its comedy. Is it as good as Looney Tunes? No. Is it good? Yeah. It's entertaining and funny and a half-decent way to kill 30 minutes of your precious lifespan.
Of course, as a 10-year-old I thought this was the greatest show ever. But 10-year-olds are morons, and today I'm perfectly aware that the real greatest show ever is obviously The Nutshack. Everyone knows that.
RollBots (2009)
This is another sci-fi show with a high concept, but this time, it just doesn't work. Even as a kid, I remember thinking, "Goddamn... this is weird."
The plot to RollBots is that... well. It's set in a world populated by these weird round robots that just roll the fuck around, hence the name. And the robots have twelve tribes, and there's a huge caste system, and there's this whole martial arts element, and different types of robots, and this big mystery-slash-conspiracy that everyone runs around trying to solve, and also the main characters are cops, and pirates are somehow involved, and alchemy comes into play also, and the government is corrupt, and the RollBots have their own fucking conlang, and there's a big religion-vs-progress element, and...
Gosh, I wonder why this got canceled after 26 episodes?
That'll be it for this article. Hope you had fun reading about these shows - the good, the bad and the ugly - that I remember from 10+ years ago. Tune in next time when I'll probably talk about Captain Flamingo, Being Ian, Team Galaxy, Monster Buster Club, The Save-Ums, The Doodlebops, and/or Wolverine and the X-Men. And if that sentence brought on a huge nostalgia wave, you're probably a Canadian Gen-Z kid.
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